Samarqandi

s-nazarovaShahzoda Samarghandi (Nazarova, 1975) was born in Samarkand, Uzbekistan (Soviet Union) is a young Tajik poet, writer and journalist. She is one the founders of the first Tajik TV program “Chashme Del” (1998) in Samarkand after the collapse of Soviet Union. Nazarova published two Persian novels: “Syndrome Stockholm” by “Khavaran” in Paris, 2011 (Second edition was published in 2012 by H&S Media) and “Motherland” (Zamine Madaran) London, in 2013 by “H&S Media”. Motherland has been translated into Cyrillic and Arabic scripts.


Poetry  “Dialogue with West”

Excerpt

1

Here I am, limited and wrapped

by my own hair.

Skillfully trained to be invisible

and necessary as air.

 

Here I am, master of painfully losing art.

Willingly posing my chest to your daily dart.

 

Here I am, forty years young,

A woman, seven steps beyond.

Too shy to shine and burning brine

I have learned to wear only in my eye the diamond.

 

Mines, under my fit.

Rockets, on top of my roof… Ooofff …

I am sorry, am I talking too much

The staff you dont want to hear as such?

 

Dicta, dictor, dictatorship

is a still high iron wall between our friendship

Should I wait till it also collapses

Or we should keep massaging overlaps…

 

…But I promise, one day

If North wind will not delay

I hope to dare to say,

That only word I was hiding

Behind my tongue

Since I was utterly young.

 

and I will end growing in,

and I will start growing wild.

 

Here I am, too tamed,

And times are up to shout

That only word

I was hiding behind my tongue

Since I was simply strong.

 

Here I am, storm in a cattle

Coffee in a cup each morning for you.

 

Not so hot, not so cold

As golden green tea

Each evening for you.

 

Here I am, in the frame

Of broken tranquility

of yours eternally guilty.

 

21 sept 2015

 

3

Central Asia

Pregnant mountain,

Stillbirths,

dried rivers, drained Lake.

 

Deep scratches of cotton fields

has wounded your skin

at ease.

Ultimate Sun goes down

I sink into

illusion of Peace in Town

 

A nation is suffering

from autoimmune

disease.

 

14

 

Optimism is my

receipt to obtain

From 24 hour service local pharmacy

Today.

 

Pessimism my point A

Through Magical realism

I need to crowl

To my desired point B

To My goal

The optimist to be.

 

My DNA is bond however

to sadly neglected naturalism

You anxiously sweat

from Whatever .. ism.

 

Give me a break

Give me a right to refuse

Give me a slightest choice decide

I am not ordinary girl with fuss.

 

I still remember how devoted I have kissed

The Deep red color flag

Of communism.

With heavily loaded Kalashnikov in my feast

Manipulated ridiculous organism.

24/9/15

 

18

 

She was but she has no name

 

Crying no longer helps

Shouting will do a bit,

but have you got a strength?

-Could you, please, stop insisting

My Dear Friend?

I told you: I can’t….

and any way….

What is the use of eating well

When you’re saying to your unborn

Beautiful BABY:

Farewell

 

20

 

You are genius’ I would say

sitting on his lap every single day.

You are father, breadwinner, driver

communist, believer and fighter

against already dead nazist,

against imaginary alien enemies.

You are strong and never wrong,

serious, ambitious and wiser.

‘He is a true genius, I would say

thinking of him whole night and day.

 

‘You have it all in your genies

Told me my father one day

The day I have never betray.

My girl,- he said, you are on the contrary

my hope, my genies’, but I had doubt

and I looked down and said imprimis

‘I dont have a penis’ like my brother.

 

But You have God’s habits, you  have womb

You have for entire future room.

‘I dont want to be like mother

I dont wan to be just a Mother

My brother…’

 

My girl, you can be phenomenally better off

That your brother can’t even dream of

You can be more than a genies

You are Almighty’s phenomena

and he has given you

much more than a penis.  

 

21

 

I am the fire, not a flower,

you have been reciting thousand centuries

purposefully repeated

Let me correct it

 

I am the fire, not a reason of fire,

let me correct your intentionally

over imposed desire

I am not a flower!

 

I am not even cause to fear

and have no relation to it not even near

it’s your seed deeped in my soil

for centuries, you still wonder why

it is blossoming in your own soul?

Yes I am the fire you have been scared

Through history of your mankind

 

The fire, which will end to all your

slavering ideas ending with … ism

rising of my belated Womanhood

Will pull you out of my native wood

You no longer can hide

behind green leaves and robb

my sound and spirit for good.

 

23

 

Humans we are

 

You say Speech is golden, silence is silver,

We say Silence is Gold, Speech is the killer

You promote democracy, we have to deal hard

Every day with damned procrastination and guard.

You have deadlines to reach, you have your child to teach

We for dead bodies of our children in border lines beseech

You sleep in feathery soft bed, we swing in seabeds

You protest, we get everyday guns pointed in our heads.

Humans we are, humans we are in two different parts

of the Earth, One blessed with joy, one hunted as harts

Wind is blowing, hey human on other part, stay awake, stay on shore,

My child’s dead body will be swimming on your seaside door.

 

(for refugees we are all)

18 oct 2015

 

24

 

New wave of Sacrifice

 

In my land everyone carries a sack of grain

On their shoulders each day and each second

They carry the heavy borden of being – hood

when it’s empty the heavier it gets, I reckon,

When nothing you have to carry to cheer your baby

Your own body weight will be the heaviest

Grave to carry on, to bury on and on and on

Come on my enemy what is that you want

Me to do, so you can balance my basic needs

To survive, not to thrive I will sell my soul

To your demonish Mental Impairment

Possess me O demon, recruit me, O my enemy,

Safe my child, stagnate me, my wested destiny.

 

27

 

Cotton kids

 

When you are born in a cotton  fields

When your nursery is Cotton field

When you are dragged from your school

To labour in Cotton field

 

From your operation table,

From your job let it be a nurse,

a teacher, a doctor, a PhD holder

or even a professor to labour

in Cotton field

 

When your wedding is postponed,

terminated to harvest your best

In Cotton field

 

Even you, my dear contemporary

Can be easely cotton minded

Cotton kids.

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