I am writer,has published two books published by “Helicon plus”,Russia,Saint-Peterburg.
– “The Boy”- 2013,”Logopsih”- autumn 2014.I am interested in the literature dealing with the psychology and philosophy.
The boy said,”I want to be a hero!
And the stars I want to take only from the sky !”
My house stands at the crossroads,
one street is called “Lane of Lindens”, second street – “Poplar Avenue”.
The roof of the house is green-brown color, as “blooming” of grass,
with a red brick chimney and with antenna – “gossamer”.
White facade of the house is visible from afar.
This is our house!
It was built by my father and I am infinitely grateful to him.
Sometimes he jokes: “The house where iron called pyrites!”.
My room – the smallest of six rooms in this house.
The era of “blue” screens and the socialist red carnations not over yet.
Artificial Christmas tree with plastic vegetables
and white photographs of astronauts stands in the corner of room.
Under the white ceiling hanging lamp of purple glass,
on the walls are portraits of girls-beauties performed by artist Sara Moon.
Green alligator from plaster hangs on the opposite side of the wall,
it is bathing in beams of light.
The crystal lamp dropped it’s head in the headboard of my bed
and illuminates the satin red bedspreads.
On the dusty shelves of a bookcase there are books in colorful patterned covers.
In childhood my grandfather red me tales,lying on the old sofa.
When his eyes were tired from reading books,
he was wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.
Sometimes I asked father: “Daddy, draw me something! Please!”
He is took a pen and drew soldiers.
I can’t draw! I get only Doodle!
Sometimes he taught me to play chess.
Although mother told, that it should be played,
but only when I will adult man!
But I had fun: behold the king, the Queen, officers, soldiers, horses, guns.
A real war on the table in black and white squares.
Outside the window under the may sun luxuriate tulips “the Dutch in the steppe”:
reds, with a black heart in the depth of the Corolla.
I want to dive nose in a fragrant of cups and kissing,
to kiss their silky petals!
Old nanny washes clothes and wide canvas sheets in the back yard.
She is warming cold water from the well in the boiler room.
Groaning and moaning, she washes crimson traces,
which reminiscent of my last night of love.
Broadcasts the ancient philosopher of the middle ages,
“Love always to blame for all the crimes of the world!”.
Natalia loved me! She was just another toy for my fun.
She is literally would not let me pass,and I have lost interest to it.
Natalia was crying in the phone, “You cooled toward me ? So easily?”.
Kind nanny grumbled, “For you, young, everything is simple!”.
Father warned, “The offended woman can go for anything, sonny!”.
The girl showed guile, truly female.
Natalia set a condition, “I’m your wife, if you kill him!”.
My friend asked her,” have I time to think?”.
He challenged me to a duel?No!
Once my frend came to my house under the pretext to borrow money.
And we had a very serious talk.
He told me that’s going to kill me to get heart of Natalie. His words stunned me.
His eyes covered with mad love to this woman and blind by jealousy to me.
I took the knife from the table and put into the hands of my friend.
He dropped the knife and shouted to me:” Leave town!I don’t want to create sin!”
I stand, leaning over the icon: ” My angel, my Keeper, save me, mercy me!”
It was written by some the ancient master on three boards.
My angel – he’s in armor, with a shield and sword,
behind him, the huge wings.
The artist did not follow any canons of iconography,
in addition to the post, of course.
In the face of an angel I don’t see the similarity with the Greek-Latin profile.
In his face I see familiar features:
those same eyes in the portrait in gilded plaster frame.
These eyes are often frightened me in childhood,
because they watched me, when I played the piano!
This is a portrait of my grandfather.
Furthermore on my neck a cross of dark green stone,framed in metal.
This is my grandfather’s cross.
The nanny said to me: “Don’t wear someone else’s cross!
You’ll take unnecessary sins upon yourself !
You will experience the fate of the man who carried the cross
up to you!”.
She certainly did not wish me such a fate!
Mom asked me to remove the cross, because this thing was cursed.
My grandfather and his best friend exchanged crosses.
They became sworn brothers.
This named brother made the first and the most serious of the seven deadly sins – murder.
As a teenager, my grandfather stole someone else’s heart.
This small sin for which people are punished more.
On the calendar, the eighth of March,
grey ice melts under the sun, birds sing trills, call the spring thaw!
The ancient Chinese exclaims, “The festival of spring. Who remembers death?!”.
In the morning I left home, saying to my mother, “I am coming soon!”.
What to do?! Windy boy ran on a date!
I write letters to you. I write kilometer of stanzas.
I send you the gentle words.
I send you a smile ,I send you a kiss,
but how can I leave you!
The postman tells me, “No mail today!”.
And tomorrow and the day after the letters there were no letters.
Silence, my words go to the drain hole, as water!
I have emptiness inside, and I have nothing to fill it with!
I am a wolf, I’m howling at night!
I’m tired and so decided not to torture myself.
Tomorrow I’m going to you.
In the morning I sat on the commuter train.
All just: Yesterday I have been worrying, fretting.
Today I threw all, I cut into small pieces of distance.
Several times I’ve replayed in my head our meeting.
How are you? What is in the air you breathe?
But I knew one thing, you will be glad of my visit!
Venus – goddess of love in Roman mythology.
She was born from sea foam.
When Venus came ashore, she won the hearts of the people forever!
Of course, my Venus can’t walk on the waves of the sea as the goddess.
The land falls away from under her feet.
It is known to only the lovers at first sight.
We met I would say, by chance!
I was walking down the street, in daily activities.
Suddenly, in the crowd I saw a beautiful girl and I’m turned 180 degrees!
Our eyes met, and a hot “shock” wave run between us,
like a discharge of electricity yanked.
In a dusty urban air I felt wonderful smell of “ozone” –
it was her perfume, like the elixir of love, intoxicating.
Venus sits on a Park bench, I go and sit next to her.
She is smiling to me, “Hi!”.
I want to kiss you but there are so many people.
They look at us.
Hot day gradually passed in a sultry evening.
Golden strands of hair lay on his forehead,
now you look like a girl in a painting by Gustav Klimt Danae.
You are so beautiful!
We talk, laugh, and I am sad because soon we will have to say goodbye.
You lose an earring.
The silver decoration suddenly disappears from your ear.
We spent a lot of time looking for your earrings in the grass, we crept on all fours.
Our knees and palms became green, but we found nothing.
You’re upset, ” hell with it, with this trinket!” You hurry home.
After half an hour I found your jewelry this lightweight silver ball.
It was my small victory!
I found your mother in an old wooden house .
She was not expecting guests, and she was not thrilled with my appearance.
But she is very well mentioned to me a few words about you.
Although Venus is dissolute daughter.
Bad rumors about you are running around the city with the speed of light.
Your mother is even invited me to stay for the night.
In turn, I thanked her, heading to the exit.
The door was stubborn and heavy, as if in collusion with you, it is didn’t let me go.
I was walking along a narrow country road,
and pouring out tears from my eyes, like rain.
My heart was filled with despair.
At the station I sat down on a bench, waiting for the train.
Suddenly I saw a dog, which looked plaintively at me.
I took from my backpack a piece of bread, hungry eyes of dogs were unbearable!
Yesterday I met in a cafe with Yulia.
She is a school friend of Venus .
She’s a bitch, but oh well, the question now is not about that!
She is flirting with me, “Dear, let’s go have a drink for the meeting!”
Julia eagerly said: “You know? I was recently in Moscow and saw Venus.
She was in such a bad way, that no tale to tell, nor pen describe!”
I was annoyed, “My favorite girl is a prostitute?!
She stands in a short skirt in Tverskaya street!”
We drank “fire water” with Yulia. As expected, it is was cold.
The next morning I was sick with tonsillitis.
I understand that this is not a disease gripped my throat.
This feeling can’t stay long inside, it wants out!
I love you and feel a sense of jealousy. I’m jealous to the air, that you breathe!
After a couple of years I was in the capital,
where I was met by my old friend and he told me the plans for the evening.
Work up enough on a wide Moscow avenues,
we decided to cement the friendship with a strong drink.
We went into a cafe-bar “Moscow courtyards”
to crush the southern brandy and to remember the past.
There were a lot to remember, believe me!
At the end of the evening my friend asked me to take the “call girls”.
I agreed because I was free as the wind.
We were arguing who is going to foot the bill.
The bell rang, two cackling “nymphs of the night” in high heels came to our table.
It was my Venus with the girlfriend – companion.
She is a brunette with dirty curls, with bright gaudy makeup.
She was dressed in a short black dress and vulgar boots.
Her friend blonde with short hair, dressed in a long red sweater.
I shuddered, and this spasm of consciousness reflected on my calm face.
The wound of love has already healed, there was only a scar from a cigarette.
It happened almost mechanically.
Cigarette smoldered in my hand, the fire greedily ate tissue paper,
ashy snow falls on my pants.
I wanted to put out a cigarette in the ashtray, but missed and I burnt your hand.
The burn of my heart was more painful.
An unexpected call in the middle of the night a few days later.It was Venus. Her voice was velvety. She told me,
“Darling, it’s you, darling? I knew you once!”
I quietly say to you, “Who gave you my phone number?”
She said, “Your friend gave me number”.
You sat with him in “Moscow courtyards”,
do you remember? You left so quickly!
Dear, you warmed me, the cold wind walks in my soul now!”
She continues, “You don’t love me!” I say coolly, “Don’t call me anymore!”. I took
from the top shelf of a bookcase a white envelope with the inscription: “with love,
I tore open the envelope.
The flower fell from the envelope, but it is was so weak and old,
So it crumbled in my hands.