Андрей Царев

tsarewРодился и вырос в Махачкале. На литературном поприще неоднократно он принимал участие в Форумах молодых писателей России (Москва, 2005, 2006), Совещаниях молодых писателей Северного Кавказа (Майкоп, Махачкала, Грозный, 2009-2013), а также Совещании молодых писателей России, пишущих для детей (Старая Русса, 2009). Его произведения публиковались в России и за рубежом (в Белоруссии, Болгарии, Германии, Италии, Казахстане, Канаде, Новой Зеландии, Украине и Франции), в том числе в таких известных с давних времен изданиях, как журнал «Юный техник» и знаменитый парижский еженедельник «Русская мысль». В 2006 году стал серебряным лауреатом Национальной премии «Золотое перо Руси» в номинации «Экология», далее был отмечен благодарностью Межвузовского Татьянинского конкурса 2007-2008 гг. (Санкт-Петербург, Межвузовская Ассоциация «Покров»). А в 2014 году удостоился почетной грамоты республиканского конкурса «Родники Дагестана» за творческий подход, вклад в развитие дагестанской литературы и активное участие в воспитании подрастающего поколения.

сказка “Live Bomb “


” A kind word is pleasant even for a cat “

(с) People wisdom

“Are you a live bomb?”


“Why didn’t you blow up right away?”

“No point. You aren’t going anywhere. Damn you! You had to choose this particular path, didn’t you!”


“It is each bomb’s dream to take out an entire squad of one hundred. Then it will receive a monument. What good are you to me when you’re alone?”

“I am sorry. Honestly, I am.”

“Forget it. It’s okay. We just couldn’t get a break, both of us, that’s all.”

“It’s true.”

“So whaddya say? Do I go ahead and explode or what?”

“Wait. I need some time to pray.”

“Go ahead. There’s no rush. Just bear in mind, if you have any tricks up your sleeve, forget it. The moment I realize I’m losing control over the situation, I go off. Automatically. Is that clear? ”


“ My apologies for the corny language. Those are my built-in instructions.


“What is?”

“Those built-in instructions of yours. Listen, neither of us is in a hurry. Right? ”

“Not that I know of.”

“Tell me about yourself, then. Just a little bit. About all of you. I’d like to know, before I die, who it was who got me in the end.”

“Awwww. I don’t know about that…”

“Why don’t you sit down? Under the circumstances, standing upright is hardly a virtue. And we don’t have to worry about catching a cold. About getting our clothes dirty, either.”

“That’s true.”

“Yeah. Do you smoke?”

“No. I wouldn’t mind trying, though, if you give me one.”

“Sure. Here. Where I’m going, I won’t need them. The cigarettes, I mean. But, you know, smoking shortens your life expectancy.”

“Now, that’s really funny. Ahem, ahem… I’m not saying I could enjoy this on, like, a regular basis. Nevertheless, there’s something to it.”

“No kidding. Well, go ahead. Tell me.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Who were your Mom and Dad? How did you come to be a bomb? I’m really curious.”

“You don’t know anything?”

“I’m from a different world.”

“That’s obvious. Everyone knows that live bombs have no Mom, no Dad, not even childhood. The product of elfin magic. Not fair, but what are you gonna do? That’s the way I have appeared.”

“Who isn’t having a hard time nowdays?”

“Yea. But I feel worse than everybody.”

“Oh, do you know funny stories?”

“Not really… But I am a clever girl.”

“I see… So, you have appeared already an adult?”

“Of course. With all enclosed instructions…”

“Mind and a very nice body.”

“Thanks for a compliment. And about the mind – well, there is no way without it, right? If you make decisions not by sense, earlier or later – you will be deceived. Elfin magic does not waste itself.”

“I get it. But, listen, magic is magic, but you look so intelligent. You can talk…”

“Do you want to offend me? I’ll detonate now.”

“Not at all! Wait! It is a compliment too. I can’t stop admiring you. Honestly. How long have you lived up to…”

“Up to what?”

“Up to today.”

“I didn’t. Sleeping mode is not exactly life. I already told you, my entire mind was enclosed initially.”

“That is the strange thing! I was born little, helpless and aware of nothing. Then I lived for a long time, studied a lot. Only then I have become a man that you see.”

“I know. You are all natural. It is easy to see at the first sight. Look at me closely. Did you ever see the exact same face in a natural woman or even a fairy?”

“And a body too. Never.”

“That’s what it is! Tell me, that I am a beautiful.”

“You are very beautiful! Moreover, you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. Honestly. But I cannot understand one little thing. You are intelligent, and you are going to detonate the completely strange person and destroy yourself. Where is logic in that?”

“You are an enemy.”

“Why do you think so?”

“You are armed, you have no elfin sign, and you walk on this road. So, you are an enemy, and you should be eliminated. I was generated for this purpose.”

“I understand. I am an enemy of your creators. Nothing personal – it’s just the way it is. I really walked on this road. And it’s true, I had the worst intentions regarding your creators. But tell me, please, why did they give you mind? Only don’t take offence! They could simply put a mine instead.”

“But if an elf would choose this way? Or an elfin squad? In this case I don’t wake up, but a simple mine would detonate.”

“But a simple magic mine can be locked by elfin amulets as well.”

“Yes. But there are different options here. The allied squad can be only headed by an elf. Then the interlock may not be enough.”

“And what is next?”

“The bomb will wait with detonation, while the squad passes. Or it will follow where it was ordered to.”

“How about putting to sleep again?..”


“That’s too bad.”

“Not really. As I have already said: it is not a real life in a sleeping mode.”

“I understand.”

“You understand nothing! Although your company is quite interesting for me. I don’t even want to detonate. Well… Even the cigarette is finished…”

“Don’t worry! I have one more. So… May I move closer to you?”

“Why not? Please.”

“It’s better. Listen, may I kiss you?”

“What for?”

“For nothing. We are to be detonated. Why not to give each other a little pleasure?”

“Are you sure that it will be pleasant for me?”

“And are you sure that it will not?”

“Well then, kiss. – She expressly turned her cheek. – Only don’t forget, if I feel something wrong, I detonate at once! ”

“And do you want to? To detonate, I mean. ”

“Well… ”

“You see. I don’t want to either. So, let’s drop these mutual threats. Let’s try not to overshadow the final hours. ”

“Well, are you going to kiss me, or I have to sit here till the night falls? ”

“Frankly speaking I would have no objections to that. No, don’t get angry, my precious! ”

Tenderly holding the girl he kissed her. Her cheek, her lips, then more and more.

“How have you called me? ”

“My precious… Excuse me… ”

“ It’s okay. Thanks! I never expected that someone would call me so. Especially an enemy. Kiss me again. ”


“It was the only way to neutralize a bomb. Do you know such insects, bees? ”

“Yes, of course. They make honey from flower nectar.”

“Bees that collect nectar are girls, for which a… a… (you understand me!), … this thing is turned into a sting. My “sting”, also was inextricably connected with, you know, it… But anyway – we are not insects. And the magic works at the other level, different from biology. So a working bee cannot turn into a normal girl, but a live bomb can.”

“I understand you, darling. But how come elves have such mistake, with all their magic?”

“It is not a mistake. It is the Love. How would you have me otherwise? And love seems to be stronger then even an elfin magic. Although they still don’t know about it.”

He tenderly caresses her hair. Today he will not tell her about the Sappers’ Guild for sure.

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